Unloved
by ShatteredShadows
Summary: Shane has no problem telling me he loves me. He says it to me every day. So why can’t you, mom?


**So, heres another story. It's actually not a oneshot. It's a twoshot. Or a threeshot. Depending on how it all goes. So, here it is, all written in letters. Song blurb from Dear Jamie by Hellogoodbye.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own. **

_But should I trust the postage due,  
to deliver my heart  
to you?_

Dear TJ Tyler,

Hello. I'm writing this letter to you for a good reason, so don't be mad. It's Christmas. Merry Christmas, mom. I mean, TJ. I know how you think being called mom makes you seem old. Even though you're only—well, if I write your age you'll be even angrier, since writing this letter in the first place probably has you ticked off.

Well, TJ, I hope you're having fun. I know your "concert" in Bermuda is taking a lot of work, since that was your excuse for missing Christmas. But, mom, I mean TJ, I checked the computer. You don't have a concert in Bermuda.

Are you just vacationing there, mom? Could you not stand the thought of spending the most loving and cheerful holiday of the year with your ugly, untalented daughter? I was just wondering, TJ, because you missed a lot when you went on this trip.

I'm still dating Shane. You know Shane, mom. Shane Gray, the rock star, who is the lead singer of Connect Three. You asked to do a duet with him, remember? I'm dating him, mom. Doesn't that mean I'm doing something right? Doesn't dating a successful rock star mean I'm doing something right?

He thinks I'm beautiful, mom. He thinks I have talent. He thinks I am the most wonderful person on earth. So why can't you, mom? Oh, I'm sorry. I just realized I've been calling you mom this whole time. You're TJ, not mom. You're definitely not old.

Well, you also missed my winter concert. I sang my heart out, and the crowd gave me a standing ovation. They applauded for a long time, too. And this time, you can't say they were only cheering for the instrumentalists, because I made sure to sing a capella. I was the only one up there, mom. They had to be cheering for me.

Shane brought me flowers, and said he had someone who wanted to meet me. Do you know who he introduced to me, mom? Buddy Falcone, the top record producer in America. He's Shane's new producer, and he offered me a record deal. I know you hate him, since your record label is second to him, but I took the deal, since you never got me a record deal.

I've been meeting with him a lot. He asked me to sing, and I sang one of your songs. He asked me why I sing TJ Tyler songs if they don't do my voice justice. I told him that I was so proud of you that your songs were all I could let myself sing. It's true, mom. I am so proud of you.

I know you can't return the favor, since you'll never see me as more than a "stupid, talentless oaf", as you called me. But I want you to know that I'm proud of you. I love you, mom, and that'll never change. Can you tell me you love me back? Just once, mom. I've never heard you say it.

Shane has no problem telling me he loves me. He says it to me every day. So why can't you, mom? It's easy; it just rolls off the tongue. I love you. Just, in your next letter, please write that you love me. Please, mom. I need to hear it from you, even if it's just in writing. Even if you can't bear to write it and have to ask one of your assistants to write it for you, please just write it.

I'm eighteen now. I turn nineteen in a month. January 21, just like always. You should remember that day, mom, it's the day you gave birth to me. It's the day I came into existence. Um, you probably don't like that day as much as I do.

Well, I'm not sure what else to write about. I miss you, a lot. I never get to see you, even when you are home. Please come home, mom. Please. I'm begging you. I need you here. You can't tell, but I'm crying now. I'm crying my eyes out, because I feel like you don't love me and can't stand to be around me. All I want is for you to love me. Do you realize how many things I do just to earn your love?

I went out with Shane for you. You were desperate for him to do a duet with you, so you begged me to go out with him. We did, and then I fell in love with him. And he fell in love with me. But then, when he still refused to do the duet, you forced me to break up with him. We were broken up for three years, mom. I spent three years in agony, just for you. During those three years, he found Mitchie Torres, the lovable liar who stole his heart.

But you know how that story ends. Mitchie hadn't stolen Shane at all. She was just one of his desperate attempts to get over me. Well, when he realized he couldn't, he came to our door, asking for me. You threw him off the property, mom. If I hadn't heard him yelling my name, I would have lost him forever.

But I heard him, and I ran to him. And when he begged me to take him back, I did immediately. And you were so angry, mom. You yelled so many things at me that night. You called me ungrateful. You called me stupid. You called me annoying. I'll never forget those things.

And mom, I got dad thrown into jail for you. You forced, and I mean forced, me to tell the court that he abused me. That he hit me. My father never laid a single hand on me, mom. And you know that. My father was my best friend, my closest confidant. And you forced me to ruin his name and have him arrested.

While you've been in Bermuda, I've been visiting him every day. I apologize so much, but he forgives me. I wronged him in the worst of ways, but he still forgives me. He understands what you were threatening to do. How you said that if I didn't, you would disown me and give me to a terribly impoverished family.

And you weren't lying, mom. I checked, you had all the papers filled out and the family already ready to receive me. And after I lied in court, I got to watch you shred all of those legal papers, one by one.

I hated doing that to dad. I'm the only visitor he gets. Everyone else he knew is too disgusted by him, by something he _didn't_ actually do, to acknowledge him. All of his closest friends, his life long buddies, they won't even say his name, claiming it would disgrace their lips.

But he forgives me for it. You can't even forgive me for forgetting to call you TJ, which I've been forgetting this whole time. Why can't you forgive me, TJ? I forgive you for all of those terrible words you've said to me. For the terrible way you've treated me. For the horrible things you've done to me. I forgive you.

Please forgive me, mom. I love you, and I'll always forgive you for everything you do. Someday, if you realize that you do love me and forgive me, I'll be here, mom. I'll be right here, ready to forgive you. I love you so much, mom. Oh, I forgot again.

You're not mom, you're TJ.

With all the love in my heart,  
Tess Tyler

-

Dear friend of TJ Tyler,

Thank you for your letter/email/phone call. I enjoyed reading it very much. As you know, being TJ Tyler can be very busy! I do not have time to fulfill any wishes/requests written in your letter/email/phone call.

But any friend of mine must realize that I cannot give that much attention to him/her, since I have to place my undivided attention on my work. If this is the only reply you receive to your letter/email/phone call, then do not be alarmed. It just means I am working hard!

Have a wonderful life, and remember, buy my new CD, Unbroken, in stores January 21!

Sincerely,  
TJ Tyler

-

Dear TJ Tyler,

Hey, TJ. It's Tess again. I got your letter.

Sadly, just like always, it's the same exact letter you've been sending me for the past eighteen years. I know that it's your prewritten response to any form of contact from people who think they're your friends.

But I'm your daughter. You couldn't even take out the time from your _vacationing_, since I know that's what you're doing, to write me a decent response? And I know for sure you're vacationing, because there are pictures of you online tanning, shopping, and even making out with a twenty-year-old underwear model named Philippe. But not a single one of you performing.

It's not that hard, mom. Even if you only wrote two words to me, I'd be happy. All I want is an original response. Not your prewritten ones. Even if you wrote "hi" on a piece of paper and mailed it to me, I'd be happy.

I showed your letter to Shane. He's angry. He doesn't like the way you treat me. Neither does dad. They both agree that you should write me a response, though dad says it'd be even better if you were just home. I agree with him.

Please come home, mom. California has beaches where you can tan. It has awesome stores for you to shop in. And you can even bring Philippe the model home, I wouldn't mind. I just want you here.

And, mom, I didn't miss that minor detail in your letter. I know you always have the date of your new album's release in your prewritten responses, but it's the actual date this time that bugs me. Your new CD comes out on January 21. My birthday.

Please change the date, mom. The day of your CD release calls for a party and a late night out, and a celebratory CD signing. You wouldn't be home at all. You wouldn't be home on my birthday. Please mom, change the date. I want to spend my birthday with you. I've never spent one with you, and I want to.

There's something else I need to tell you, mom. Shane wants to move in together. He wants us to pick out a house and move in. I'm afraid, though. I really only get to see you when I'm in the house. If I move out, I'll barely see you at all. That would kill me.

Still, Shane and I started looking at houses. He says that even if I don't move in with him, he needs to get out of his parents' house. We found a really nice one. It's not a huge estate, because we both agree that we don't want an enormous house.

It's in a neighborhood. Though it's still large for its size, we'll have neighbors. We'll have friends who we can invite over for dinner. We'll have people to call when we need a house sitter. We'll be normal.

Well, I don't know about normal, since Connect Three is still going strong, and Buddy is really dead set on the recording of a CD for me. But we'll be normal enough. I know this must make you angry. You hate Shane, and you hate Buddy. But I love Shane, and Buddy is really nice and helping me a lot.

I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry. I've betrayed you so much. By being with Shane, by signing with Buddy, by visiting dad. And then I go and accuse you of avoiding me in Bermuda. You probably do have a concert. I shouldn't doubt you. I'm so sorry.

And you probably picked January 21 as the date of your CD's release because all the other ones didn't work out. I know you did. Because there's know way you would do something that mean to me, right?

Please, mom. Come home. I need you here. I love you, and you're never around. I need to know that you care about me just as much as I care about you. Please mom, I'm begging you.

I love you, mom. I mean TJ.

With all the love in my heart,  
Tess Tyler

-

Dear Tess,

This is Gloria, TJ's assistant. I am writing to you to inform you that TJ plans on returning home very soon. I have read your previous two letters, as TJ requires me to do, since she refuses to read her own mail, and I would like to apologize for TJ's actions. It is not right for her to treat you the way she does.

I would also like to inform you that TJ did not have a concert here in Bermuda. And she herself picked the date of January 21 for her album to come out, and I, being her assistant, know for sure that she had many other dates available for it to be scheduled. I do not think it is right that she is lying to you.

I would like to request that upon reading this letter, you shred it. TJ has instructed me to send you the prewritten response, as usual. I am not supposed to be writing to you, and I would like all evidence of that destroyed.

I hope this information is helpful to you.

Sincerely,  
Gloria Finch, personal assistant of pop star TJ Tyler

-

Dear TJ Tyler,

Mom, it's been great to have you back. I'm going to slip this letter under the door to you, since you refuse to speak to me. Even with your refusal to acknowledge me, it's still wonderful to see you and have you back in the house.

Also, I apologize for calling you mom. I know you like to be called TJ. Still, such a small mistake is no reason to give someone the cold shoulder. I apologize, but I'm not sorry. You are my mother, and you have to realize that sometime or other.

It is strange, though, having Philippe in the house. He's only two years older than me. He's my age. It's kind of weird that you're dating him. You'll kill me for writing this, but you're forty-one years old. He's twenty. You're a full twenty-one years older than him.

But I'm not one to go against you. If you love him, then you love him. And I know you love him, since you two profess your love for each other every three seconds. I understand that love works in mysterious ways. Still, the fact that you were of legal drinking age when he was in diapers is slightly creepy.

Mom, there's something I need to talk to you about. I found out, from a reliable source, that you didn't have a concert in Bermuda. And, most of all, that you purposely picked my birthday as the date of your CD release. Why? Do you not like to spend time with me?

Do you hate me, mom? I have to wonder this. I know it's a terrible thing to accuse you of. You're my mother, after all. But I wonder, what if you're using me calling you mom as an excuse to ignore me? Do you really not like being around me?

I don't understand. What am I doing wrong? What can I do to make you love me? I'll do anything. I swear. I just want you to love me. It's all I want from you. If you just tell me you love me, I'll stay out of your way more. I'll let you vacation in Bermuda, so you don't have to lie to me. Please, mom.

Well, there's a lot of things I wanted to update you on.

Shane bought that house I was telling you about. We already started decorating it. Still, I'm not moving in. I'm staying here with you. I'm excited, though. I keep thinking about Shane and I's future. We could get married and have kids, and I would be an amazing mother to them. Then we could watch them grow up, and help them through their problems, instead of causing them, like you—nevermind.

Oh, and Buddy is disappointed in me. He wants me to sing original material, but I keep giving him songs that resemble yours. He says he wants my music to come from my heart, not my mom. I have a lot of those songs he's looking for. I just want to stay true to you.

And there's another thing, but it'll make you even angrier. I want to tell the courts that I lied, and that dad is innocent. I know you'll be angry. But this time, you can't threaten me with disownment. I'm eighteen years old, legally an adult. If you threw me out, I could live with Shane.

This is a big sacrifice for me. If I come clean, I'll be charged with perjury. The sentence will be something around one to two years in jail. But I'm willing to do it. Dad is in jail for another ten years. I figure that two years for me is worth saving him ten.

I told Shane and dad and Buddy about this. Shane is really sad about it, but he understands that it's the right thing to do. Dad keeps telling me I don't have to do it, but I can see in his eyes that he's lying. Buddy is unhappy, since it'll put a dent in my image, but he explained that as long as I do it after my album is out, I'll be fine. Plus, once I get out of jail he says I can do a redemption album.

I know you'll hate me for this, mom. But I have to. And if you don't read this letter and it takes you by surprise when this is on the news, then it's your own fault. I warned you. I love you, mom, but I have to make this wrong right.

Okay. I think I've said all I needed to say. Please stop ignoring me.

With all the love in my heart,  
Tess Tyler

-

Dear Tess,

It's Gloria. I don't have much time to write. I just wanted to tell you that your mom didn't read that last letter. She threw it in the trashcan. I saved it though, so when your face is on the news with the story of your crime, I can show it to her.

By the way, I think what you're doing is the right thing. Your dad is being wronged. Oh, and I totally agree about Philippe. It's really creepy. You'll notice that this letter is a lot less formal. I hate writing like that, and only do out of habit. Crap, TJ is coming.

Once again, shred this after reading.

Sincerely,  
Gloria Finch, personal assi—

-

Dear Mom,

Mom, you have to read this letter. It's important.

You have to get rid of Philippe. Please. My life is completely ruined thanks to him.

You see, mom, I was in the kitchen, eating lunch. You were out shopping, and it was Sunday, so the staff had the day off. It seemed like a normal day. But it most definitely wasn't. If you didn't do the calculations yet, Philippe and I were the only ones in the house.

So while I was eating, Philippe walked in. I thought he was going to eat something, but he just stood there and stared at me. I asked him what he wanted. He whispered, "You." Mom, I couldn't stop what happened next.

Before I knew it, he was kissing me. I tried to push him off, but he's so strong. You always liked the strong boys. I punched him and kicked him, but he wouldn't move. Suddenly, he had his hand up my shirt. Mom, I won't go through the rest. But I'll explain that eventually, my shirt was above my head and my pants around my ankles and he was in only his boxers.

He wouldn't get off me, mom. I was crying so hard, I knew what he was going to do. I was so scared, I couldn't even do anything. But then the worst happened. Of all people, Shane walked into the house. Apparently, he was going to surprise me with flowers because he knew I was having a bad week.

Well, he got the surprise. He ran out of the house. With Philippe momentarily stunned, I slipped away from him and ran after Shane. I was crying my eyes out, begging for him to listen to me. But he wouldn't. He just kept walking to his car.

He drove away, mom. I was left standing there, half-naked, watching him drive away, with Philippe still inside. Mom, that's why I'm not home right now. I can't go back there. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone what he did. I know you love him, and I don't want you to get hurt.

I'm staying with Buddy. I refuse to tell him why I showed up at his doorstep in my underwear, with red, puffy eyes. He keeps asking, though. Mom, I need you to know that Philippe is a bad person. He is a very, very bad person.

He tried to rape me, mom. And in his attempt, he also ruined my relationship with Shane. I'm sure you've seen the online video in which Shane announces he's single. It was his way of breaking up with me. My whole future is ruined. Philippe probably told you I came on to him, so you hate me. Shane, who I love just as much as you, hates me. I don't know what to do.

Mom, please just respond. Let me know that you got this letter! Please, I'm begging you. I love you mom. Please love me too.

With all the love in my broken heart,  
Tess Tyler

-

Tess,

This is your mother. My assistant, Gloria, has been collecting your letters and forced me to read them all. I would like to clear some things up.

I am going to be short, sweet, and to the point. I carry a deep dislike for you. When I was twenty-three, at the height of my career, I got pregnant from an affair with your father. Because of you, I had to stop the production of my new movie, postpone the release of my new CD, and cancel my summer tour. I hated you already.

I wanted an abortion. But my agent explained that an abortion would cause the loss of many fans. So I kept you. As a child, you had an annoying attachment to me. You followed me around, calling me mommy. I wanted nothing to do with you.

I could go through it all day, but the point is that I do not love you. I do not like you. Hate is a very strong word, one that I have sworn off using. But it is the only word I can think of that describes what I feel towards you. You are a nuisance to me, and I want nothing to do with you.

And what you accuse Philippe of doing is terrible. I abhor you even more for it. He would never do such a thing. Shane probably left you because he couldn't stand to be with you for another moment. I wouldn't be surprised.

And about your father, do what you will with him and his sentence. I only forced you to lie in court so the divorce would go through. Now that it has, I wouldn't care if you got yourself thrown into jail just to get him out of it.

As it seems to me, he is the only one who truly cares for you. Shane was most likely with you for your connections, and Buddy just wants to use you to earn himself more money than he already has. Your father is the only one who will ever care, because is the only other being on this earth as sad and repulsive as you.

Never write to me again. I'm instructing Gloria to from this point forward shred every letter you send me. Goodbye, Tess. For good.

From,  
TJ Tyler

-

Dearest Shane,

Shane, I need to talk to you. Please stop ignoring me. You don't understand what was going on. Philippe tried to r—I can't even write it. I need to speak to you in person.

I love you, Shane. That'll never change.

With all the love in my broken heart,  
Tess

-

Lovely Tess,

I apologize for ignoring you. I miss you so much. If you want to meet me, come to 1643 Baker Street at 6:00 on Thursday. It's my friend's house. I need to see you. I love you. And tell your mother I said hi.

Oh, and if you would like to send a reply, send it to my new address. 453 Washington Lane. It's a new house I bought, and I decided to live there instead.

Love,  
Shane Grey

-

Dearest Shane,

I'll be there. It seems like you wrote that last letter in a hurry. Things seemed…off. Oh well. I can't wait to see you. And we also need to discuss this new house.

With all the love in my healing heart,  
Tess

-

Dear Tess,

I'm not actually going to send this letter. It's Shane, by the way. This is one of those letters people write, but never send, you know? I just need to vent.

I got your letter. I really wanted to write back saying that I loved you too and that we should meet, but I couldn't force myself to. It's just too much. I want to know what you were trying to say about Philippe, but seeing you would be too much right now.

I just want to know. How could you do that to me? How could you cheat on me, after everything we had built up? I loved you, still love you, so much. I thought you loved me too. But apparently not. If you didn't love me, you shouldn't have said you did.

You're just like your mother. She tells people she loves them just to shut them up. Is that what you did? Did you just want to shut me up? You and your mother are so alike. You're both despicable.

No, you're not despicable. I hate to say that, but I'll never see you as despicable. I love you, even after what you did. Even knowing that it was all a lie. Somehow I still love you. And I apologize for comparing you to your mother. She is a terrible woman and you are so much better than her.

But are you? You did cheat on me, after all. Did you cheat on me? Yes, you did. I'm sure of it. I saw it with my own eyes. I saw him pinning you to the table, both of you in your underwear. But I also saw the fearful tears in your eyes. That doesn't make sense.

"Philippe tried to r—" is what you wrote. Philippe tried to what? Remove your underwear? Come on, Tess, I'm not an idiot. I could tell you wanted him to do it. No, I couldn't tell. You looked scared. You looked like you were in hysterics. Like you _didn't _want him to do it…oh god, I am an idiot.

"Philippe tried to rape me." Is that what you were trying to say? Thinking back, you did look like you were about to be harmed. You looked terrified. And when you chased me out to the car, you said "I didn't want to" so many times. I thought that meant he seduced you, but…could you have meant that he forced you to?

Oh, god. And then I just drove away and left you there with him. He didn't actually get to finish what he started after I left, did he? I am such an idiot. Where could you have gone? Not to your house, obviously. Not to our new house, since I'm in it right now. Oh yeah, I moved into it.

Not my parents house, since they would have told me. Who else is there? Who else would you have known well enough to ask them to let you into their home? You couldn't have gone to your dad, he's still in jail. That leaves, who?

Buddy?

Are you at Buddy's house? I bet you are! Wait, why am I still writing? I should be on my way to his house. I'm leaving right now.

-

My dear Philippe,

Darling, I know love notes are overrated, but I'll be gone by the time you get this. I have a very important meeting with my producer. Anyway, I was just wondering where you are.

Today is Thursday, our cuddle day. But you're not here. I can't find you anywhere. Your car is gone, too. I can't cuddle with you if you're not here. Well, I decided to write you a letter. I saw you writing one the other day, and of course thought it was to me. Strangely enough, I never received it. Still, it made me realize that you like receiving letters.

So here is my love note, sweetie. I hope you enjoyed it. And we'll just cuddle tomorrow, okay?

Love,  
TJ

**How many of you have it figured out? Though it's got a darker undertone, I tried to make this one lighter, and with a possible happy ending. It all depends on what you reviewers want.**

**Though I'm in such a good mood, I'm going to keep my review requirement. Seven words minimum, please. Otherwise I don't want your review. And if you don't want to think of seven words, here's an example. "Oh no, what will happen? Update soon!" Feel free to borrow it, it's up for lending.**


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